The avoid avoiding coach

by Shaun Kieran

All kinds of people occasionally choose to avoid thinking about something that has no immediate answer, but would cause stress if they simply let it take over their mind: “I’m just not going to worry about that until I have to.” Happens all the time. And lots of times it’s the smart thing to do – and it all works out.

But … (you knew there was a “but” coming.) The habit of avoiding thinking about something which is there and will be coming towards you for you to deal with, can cause very serious problems – to say the least. Up to this point I can’t imagine that anyone would disagree because this is pretty elementary stuff.

Where it especially becomes a problem is when people lock-in the tendency to rely on their instincts and their verbal skills to just react and improvise – and then accept the results as unavoidable or “good enough.” It’s a good skill to have, but it shouldn’t be the “go to” strategy. People can be very sensitive about this, especially when being criticized. They defend themselves fiercely and even get self-righteous about it.

What happens when the “avoid” strategy has failed is telling: to themselves individuals either do or – uh oh  – do not allow themselves to consciously realize that they’ve let an occasionally effective strategy morph into a controlling mental habit – and a big problem. Huge problem, actually.

 

Shaun Kieran

ShaunKpro@gmail.com

 (207) 767-3864

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