The Human Workplace http://springpointservices.com/blog Managing Real People, Creating Good Workplaces Thu, 19 Oct 2017 19:18:15 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.2 2006-2007 spskieran@myfairpoint.net (Shaun Kieran) spskieran@myfairpoint.net (Shaun Kieran) 1440 http://springpointservices.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/powered_by_podpress.jpg The Human Workplace http://springpointservices.com/blog 144 144 Managing Real People, Creating Good Workplaces Shaun Kieran Shaun Kieran spskieran@myfairpoint.net no no “I’m NOT their Mother” says exasperated, old school-type supervisor about dealing with people in today’s workplaces. http://springpointservices.com/blog/im-not-their-mother-says-exasperated-old-school-type-supervisor-about-dealing-with-people-in-todays-workplaces/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/im-not-their-mother-says-exasperated-old-school-type-supervisor-about-dealing-with-people-in-todays-workplaces/#respond Fri, 11 Aug 2017 14:17:35 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13754

I sympathize with that supervisor, but it’s the 21st century and people bring all kinds of personal baggage to work these days. But being from the old school can actually be an asset when managing people – provided they accept a few new realities and keep their concentration:

Here’s an audio that expands on that:

 

Shaun Kieran

ShaunKpro@gmail.com

(207) 767-3864

Or connect here.

 

 

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http://springpointservices.com/blog/im-not-their-mother-says-exasperated-old-school-type-supervisor-about-dealing-with-people-in-todays-workplaces/feed/ 0 0:00:01 I sympathize with that supervisor, but it’s the 21st century and people bring all kinds of personal baggage to work these days. But being from the old school can actually be an asset when managing people – provided they accept a few new [...] I sympathize with that supervisor, but it’s the 21st century and people bring all kinds of personal baggage to work these days. But being from the old school can actually be an asset when managing people – provided they accept a few new realities and keep their concentration: Here’s an audio that expands on that:   Shaun Kieran ShaunKpro@gmail.com (207) 767-3864 Or connect here.     Shaun Kieran no no
Helping Parents Isn’t That Complex, But That Doesn’t Mean Parenting Is Easy http://springpointservices.com/blog/helping-parents-isnt-that-complex-but-that-doesnt-mean-parenting-is-easy/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/helping-parents-isnt-that-complex-but-that-doesnt-mean-parenting-is-easy/#respond Thu, 02 Mar 2017 15:17:01 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13741

I’ve taken another stab at an audio about what happens when a parent talks to me about their situation. For a variety of reasons I prefer to call what we do “consultation” rather than “coaching.”  Our conversations help parents be more instinctively comfortable, and – most importantly – maintain their confidence and focus on the parental tasks in front of them.

Everything is better when parents step up and “be” parents to the absolute best of their ability. They both truly help the children they love, and they affirm pieces of themselves that help their own lives be fulfilled no matter what else happens on their journey.  Here’s the audio:  

]]> http://springpointservices.com/blog/helping-parents-isnt-that-complex-but-that-doesnt-mean-parenting-is-easy/feed/ 0 0:00:01 I’ve taken another stab at an audio about what happens when a parent talks to me about their situation. For a variety of reasons I prefer to call what we do “consultation” rather than “coaching.”  Our conversations help[...] I’ve taken another stab at an audio about what happens when a parent talks to me about their situation. For a variety of reasons I prefer to call what we do “consultation” rather than “coaching.”  Our conversations help parents be more instinctively comfortable, and – most importantly – maintain their confidence and focus on the parental tasks in front of them. Everything is better when parents step up and “be” parents to the absolute best of their ability. They both truly help the children they love, and they affirm pieces of themselves that help their own lives be fulfilled no matter what else happens on their journey.  Here’s the audio:   Parenting Shaun Kieran no no Exes aren’t always sure how to handle public encounters. http://springpointservices.com/blog/exes-sometimes-arent-always-sure-how-to-handle-public-encounters/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/exes-sometimes-arent-always-sure-how-to-handle-public-encounters/#respond Wed, 28 Sep 2016 19:13:08 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13730

It’s more common than you might think that encounters between exes in public can generate a ton of anxiety and trepidation. I’ve been asked about this scenario many times:

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http://springpointservices.com/blog/exes-sometimes-arent-always-sure-how-to-handle-public-encounters/feed/ 0 0:00:01 It’s more common than you might think that encounters between exes in public can generate a ton of anxiety and trepidation. I’ve been asked about this scenario many times: It’s more common than you might think that encounters between exes in public can generate a ton of anxiety and trepidation. I’ve been asked about this scenario many times: Divorce, Parenting Shaun Kieran no no
Even Though the Ex Continues to Be Exasperating the High Road Is the Best Way to Go http://springpointservices.com/blog/even-though-the-ex-continues-to-be-exasperating-the-high-road-is-the-best-way-to-go/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/even-though-the-ex-continues-to-be-exasperating-the-high-road-is-the-best-way-to-go/#respond Thu, 22 Sep 2016 19:39:57 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13726

This audio briefly summarizes why you don’t want to give in to your frustrations and the ex’s provocations.

 

 

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http://springpointservices.com/blog/even-though-the-ex-continues-to-be-exasperating-the-high-road-is-the-best-way-to-go/feed/ 0 0:00:01 This audio briefly summarizes why you don’t want to give in to your frustrations and the ex’s provocations.     This audio briefly summarizes why you don’t want to give in to your frustrations and the ex’s provocations.     Shaun Kieran no no
Being a Proactive Supervisor Doesn’t Mean Shooting from the Hip http://springpointservices.com/blog/being-a-proactive-supervisor-doesnt-mean-shooting-from-the-hip/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/being-a-proactive-supervisor-doesnt-mean-shooting-from-the-hip/#respond Mon, 27 Jun 2016 19:24:55 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13690

As a new supervisor in today’s workplace, you certainly don’t need to sprint toward your people with fire in your eyes and a club in your hand to convince them you mean business.

But it is also true that supervisors, especially line supervisors, really are the equivalent of early responders. They’re the ones whose early response to problems and opportunities, good and bad, can deeply affect what happens at work – in the near term obviously – but those ripples can travel a long way down the road.

The best managers have an ability to anticipate the problems most likely to occur – from both hard-won experience and the accumulated knowledge of how their workplace works.

How did they develop that “proactive” capacity? They wanted to,  and knew they needed to. They saw right away the obvious benefits of prevention. They walked around and asked, they listened, then followed up with more questions – they conveyed to everyone they were serious about the work, and getting it right. Ironically, they’ve also figured out, (if they didn’t know already,) that sometimes “I don’t know” is exactly the right answer.

What can sometimes make it hard is that a manager also needs to avoid becoming a control freak. Some managers have learned the wrong lessons, and go from feeling responsible (which is good) into over-emphasizing their direct responsibility for the work product, and end up taking the path of controlling things early and often. Way too early, and way too often.

Great managers want to know that you (the employee) know what’s going on, which means that manager will be coming around to check in, stay on top of things, and be helpful when possible.

Getting it right also means that, working with actual humans, mistakes will occur – which is also where too many workplaces go wrong. Instead of having everything that happens be an experiment toward figuring out what does work, unhealthy workplaces succumb to turning mistakes and miscues into crises and scapegoating opportunities.

So, being proactive doesn’t mean you never have to say you’re sorry, but it certainly minimizes the number of times anyone might have to. Many problems simply get headed off at the pass.

Otherwise, those problems that do occur get taken up – sooner rather than later – before they metastasize and generate more dire consequences.

A proactive manager discourages passivity, avoidance, kicking the can down the road, etc. The habit of being proactive becomes contagious within the workgroup. The workplace culture is energized and less risk averse.

By the way, this all gets easier and easier once it gets rolling. You won’t go back.

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Workplace Coaching and Employee Assistance Programs (EAP’s) are tools managers should be aware of and utilize to deal with situations in which all the stakeholders are good people, but the problems can’t simply be ignored. http://springpointservices.com/blog/workplace-coaching-and-employee-assistance-programs-eaps-are-tools-managers-should-be-aware-of-and-utilize-to-deal-with-situations-in-which-all-the-stakeholders-are-good-people-but-the-problems-c/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/workplace-coaching-and-employee-assistance-programs-eaps-are-tools-managers-should-be-aware-of-and-utilize-to-deal-with-situations-in-which-all-the-stakeholders-are-good-people-but-the-problems-c/#respond Wed, 22 Jun 2016 20:15:12 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13672

One of my favorite examples illustrating the many benefits of “coaching” a line supervisor also happened because of the engagement and flexibility provided by a good Employee Assistance Program (EAP.)

A supervisor who had only recently become the Office Manager of a very busy State bureau came to the EAP to see me (supposedly) about a personal problem at home. Truth was, she was checking me out because she’d been “nudged” and told I might be helpful with her true problem  – managing people at work.

For many years, she’d been the “trusty right arm” to her boss, a remarkable woman who’d been in her job fourteen years, and then abruptly had to leave due to her battle with Breast Cancer.  My client was the obvious choice for that  battlefield promotion, but the truth was she wasn’t actually prepared for what the job really was: lion tamer.

Replacing that boss would have been hard under any circumstances, of course, but my client somehow hadn’t really been paying attention while faithfully serving her boss and helping her succeed.  Now in the leadership slot, my client tended to react off the top of her head, had trouble owning mistakes and apologizing, and some of the people she was alienating were not just the obvious, “usual suspects,” but were some of her most ardent early supporters for the promotion and natural allies.

And yes, it turned out there were some problems at home. Her fundamentally sound marriage was being strained by disagreements with her husband about how to deal with their youngest daughter, who’d just bombed out of her Freshman year at college (costing a lot of un-refundable tuition money) was now unemployed, and sleeping-in most mornings.

From the EAP standpoint, taking up the “home front” part was fairly straightforward: a meeting with my client and her husband, focusing on helping them stay on the same page regarding their daughter, be both “understanding” AND jointly focused – stay concrete, create strategies with timelines, and, above all, commit to consistency  and follow-through.

Meanwhile back at the workplace, as so often happens, events were racing ahead.  A mini-delegation had already gone over my client’s head, to “the big boss” – essentially conveying unhappiness and anger at what it was like to deal with my client everyday.  To my client’s eternal credit, her reaction was more hurt than anger, defiance, or disdain – the far more common reactions I see these days from others in roughly similar situations.

With that as our point of departure, my client was able to fess up to how “anxious” she’s been – “not just recently” – but nearly all of her life.  She realized that watching her boss had been like being front row center for a virtuoso performance she took for granted . She admired it, and was gratified to be associated with her boss’s “success,” but in hindsight now realized she had “no clue” how her boss had pulled it all off.  My client was wired differently, and just couldn’t “ever put up with so much nonsense” without getting judgmental, upset, and unable to hold it all “in my anxiety-laden head.”

To make a long story short, our coaching focused on listening skills – especially including listening to herself – managing feelings, learning not to be afraid to not know something, and developing a slightly more collaborative approach. Simply having someone – me, not her direct supervisor – with whom she could speak from the heart about situations she hadn’t really prepared for, made a huge difference.

She became more relaxed, which was sensed in the workplace almost immediately. I actually got a grateful, handwritten note from one of my client’s co-workers saying that the atmosphere was 100% better since my client had come to see me, and that others in the office were also very appreciative of the changes, and wanted her to tell me so.

Post script:

It turns out that the person who wrote the note had also been an EAP client, and was the one who’d lobbied heavily that her colleague make an appointment to see me. Behind the scenes at work she’d also been a voice of moderation and patience, which had helped steer things away from being a complete train wreck.

I wish I could say everyone lived happily ever after, but it seldom quite works that way. Things were better, and the entire office undoubtedly benefited from the small but real changes my client achieved. But it wasn’t a total metamorphosis, and the truth was she never really got comfortable managing such a busy, relentlessly boisterous operation.  And by the way, her own direct supervisor watched it all happen without saying a thing, or being any help at all.

She weathered the storm with dignity, picked her moment, and then slid sideways (transferred) into a smaller, quieter department just shy of the second anniversary of her promotion. Of course, part of what makes it memorable was the “thank you” note – they obviously don’t come very often.

But that case highlights how helping a supervisor has a direct impact on the people affected by that supervisor. Many good, competent people need a safe place where they can talk and think about their real problems supervising live people.

Coaching works.

 

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Not a natural authoritarian boss? It’s not necessary. http://springpointservices.com/blog/not-a-natural-authoritarian-boss-its-not-necessary/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/not-a-natural-authoritarian-boss-its-not-necessary/#respond Tue, 21 Jun 2016 17:11:10 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13664

Here’s a classic, common situation for line and new supervisors: for whatever reason, an employee has begun having trouble managing his or her feelings, it’s tending to spill out, and may be affecting customer service. From the outside it looks relatively minor. It’s not blatant or outrageous – not a firing offense – but it’s also definitely not what you want and need from your team. You’re going to have to deal with it.

Some of what makes it hard is that most supervisors don’t want to make a big deal out of small human things because it could mark that supervisor as being too fussy, too controlling – the dreaded micromanager. (I can imagine someone saying, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”) Plus, there’s the worry that, in some workplaces, having to assert authority over something so small will be seen as a kind of evidence that doesn’t say great things about their managerial skills.

Forget that. A basic workplace axiom is: if you think there’s a problem, you’re right. Good managers head toward problems, they don’t look away.

So what now? It’s not that complicated.

It boils down to managing your own emotions when you’re dealing with someone else’s, maintaining your concentration, and sticking with it – persisting. Contrary to what you may have heard, problems rarely just work themselves out in today’s workplaces.

The employees are watching. Workplaces are mini-cultures. The employees assume a supervisor knows everything going on – unless he or she doesn’t want to know.

So everyone’s looking to see how you handle the situation – and yourself. Mostly they’re rooting for an outcome without turmoil and hard feelings, but they also know that’s not always realistic. Even on small things, there are always knots in co-workers’ stomachs.

It’s time for you to provide constructive feedback.

Assume you’ll be nervous, but don’t worry about it. You don’t have to be perfect. Take some time to prepare the gist of what you need to say. Be composed. Never go into a meeting angry. Remember, it’s not about you, and you haven’t been let down personally. You’re having the conversation because a problem has been identified, and you’re responsible for the “work product” coming from your area. It’s about work performance.

So, it’s your meeting. The door is closed – obviously. You’re not rude, the tone is friendly and civil, but there’s no need for chit-chat. Get right to the reason why you’re both there. The most important thing is to state clearly what the problem is – work performance.

Use simple, clear language, give concrete examples, and explain what makes it a problem. Give the employee a chance to respond, but not to argue or filibuster. You want to be crystal clear about what improved performance will look like, and then give a reasonable timeframe for that improved performance to occur. It’s very important to convey that you want the employee to succeed, but you do that best by being clear about what you need. Wrap up the meeting, assuring the employee that there will be both help and follow-up.

That follow-up is crucial. If employees see that you’re around, aware of what’s happening, reliably head toward problems, but they also know that your first instinct is to support and be helpful, that makes addressing workplace problems much, much easier.

You don’t have to have an authoritarian personality. Nice people can also be great supervisors. That’s a true statement.

Shaun Kieran

ShaunKpro@gmail.com

 (207) 767-3864

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You’re on a professional “desert island” when real-world, very human circumstances drastically limit available alternatives – you’re stuck. http://springpointservices.com/blog/youre-on-a-professional-desert-island-when-real-world-very-human-circumstances-drastically-limit-available-alternatives-youre-stuck/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/youre-on-a-professional-desert-island-when-real-world-very-human-circumstances-drastically-limit-available-alternatives-youre-stuck/#respond Wed, 15 Jun 2016 00:40:12 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13654

“I can NOT believe I’m in this situation!” She was putting her coat on at the end of our session, sounding pretty exasperated, but then – more sadly – she said, “I feel like I’m on a desert island.”

The situation she was referring to is one I’ve encountered with increasing frequencey: professionals “stuck” in a job from which they can’t simply walk away. Ideally professionals should have control over the circumstances under which they provide their services, and if those circumstances don’t adequately meet minimum professional standards, the professional person is supposed to leave.

But that’s not so easy these days.

This accomplished professional woman – like so many – realistically just couldn’t do that, either. Her story was straightforward. Her husband had “been there” for her when she’d gotten an early jump on her own career as a special educator and she’d quickly moved from classroom teacher to adjunct university faculty to well-paid consultant.

So now she’d happily agreed to support her husband’s upward career move to a demanding new Directorship (in the capital of a new state) of a large non-profit agency.  Overall her husband’s new job was “great,” but the salary wasn’t that great. Their youngest daughter was in her sophomore year at a private college a thousand miles away, so the expected money crunch was compounded emotionally by the empty nest. Her husband worked predictably long hours, was seldom home, and was exhausted when he finally did get home. She was clear that she needed to be there managing the home front, rock-steady, while also earning “decent” money for the foreseeable future.

The only position she’d been able to find had been as a middle school Special Ed classroom teacher. Her hope had been that it would be a wonderful renewal of her original passion for the Special Ed classroom, but instead it had turned out to be “awful.”

Her school was a disaster. Leadership in the building was ineffective. Teachers and staff were “stressed to the max” and were unsupportive, sometimes rude and hostile to each other, even in front of the kids. It was “bad.”

But the worst part was that she absolutely could not walk away. There were no realistic alternatives in the small city they’d moved to that didn’t involve untenable disruptions. She was stuck, indeed, “on a desert island.”

Being stuck in a job you don’t love stems from many perfectly reasonable sources:

  • Among limited options it’s the only realistic opportunity to practice one’s trade or profession in the overall context of “career.”
  • It has professional colleagues or a client population with whom someone has especially always wanted to work.
  • It has cachet or credibility, or “stepping stone” opportunities for theoretical future career mobility.
  • The money is actually good.
  • It’s a reasonable commute or walking distance from home.
  • It has crucial health or other benefits.
  • It has flexible hours or time slots that integrate into personal and/or family functioning.
  • It’s the only workplace hiring now, and actually offering a position.

Consultations like mine with this “stranded” professional can be crucial to making essential adjustments and adaptations. Things begin to change when you realize that you do have options after all. From there, you can take some control and choose among them.

Successful “escapees” re-frame their stuck situation — they choose to feel differently about the same circumstances. They let go of the anger or anxiety, they relax about the nonsense, or they forgive the boss, and mostly they forgive themselves for being stuck. Desert islanders need to “bloom in place” or “plant a garden” so that staying put also results in good things. The short run then becomes more livable, and overall energy increases as people sort out the control they do have for important things, while letting go of things they have no control over — for now.

And yes, there’s no getting around that some who are stuck on their particular desert island absolutely do need to break out, build a raft, and get the heck off their island — no matter how difficult — because staying would only make things worse.

So, if you’re stuck on your desert island, here’s what it boils down to: make peace with the fact that there really are only two acceptable outcomes:

1) you MUST change how you feel about staying and make that work, or

2) you absolutely must leave.

If you’re someone in your version of that situation, keep in mind there are ways of coping that help you and your family manage the short run – but still see a path forward.

Shaun Kieran

ShaunKpro@gmail.com

 (207) 767-3864

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Accused of being a Micro Manager? It might be true – and you should definitely try not to be one – but some workplaces do make that hard. http://springpointservices.com/blog/accused-of-being-a-micro-manager-it-might-be-true-and-you-should-try-not-to-be-one-but-some-workplaces-make-that-hard/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/accused-of-being-a-micro-manager-it-might-be-true-and-you-should-try-not-to-be-one-but-some-workplaces-make-that-hard/#comments Tue, 14 Jun 2016 18:40:23 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13614

I’ve done a few workshops where dealing with the accusation of being a “micro manager” has taken up a lot of time in the Q & A. It’s a topic that can really get people cranked up.

Very often, what’s going on when that topic gets broached is that a supervisor is in the middle of a situation with an employee, the term “micro-managing” has been tossed into the discussion, and the manager is not sure how to react.

The textbooks all say micro-managing isn’t good – that it impedes employee initiative, generates resentment, and indicates a “controlling” mind set. And as far as it goes, that’s right. In a healthy workplace culture with a reasonable distribution of reasonable people, micro-managing is both unnecessary and disrespectful. It can actually reduce employee productivity.

The problem is that in the real world that view tends to overlook, or at least sidestep, the issue of accountability. In many workplaces, what distinguishes a manager is his or her willingness to step up, oversee, and really take responsibility for getting the work product done.

Since managers are very aware that their own job performance is being closely monitored and measured, there’s an entirely reasonable urgency around addressing and following up on problems. In fact, the failure to anticipate and properly navigate problems is one of the main reasons managers lose their jobs. Many supervisors have learned from bitter experience – not their need to control everything – to be vigilant, proactive, and prepared to repeat themselves, early and often, in order to achieve and sustain quality .  And that takes us back to the beginning. What’s a reasonable level of checking in and monitoring, when does it morph into micro-managing – and who decides?

The obvious, but not necessarily easy, answer is to be sure you’re on the same page with your own manager regarding how you interact with your employees. The idea is to get the whole process percolating as it should, with as little supervisory direction as possible, but as much as is minimally necessary to get there. The supervisor’s own boss should help with getting that right.

Developing a personal style focused on expecting workplace performance and emotional maturity is the most effective way to ensure good, consistent quality while also providing the good will and support that most employees need and truly appreciate.

Shaun Kieran

ShaunKpro@gmail.com

 (207) 767-3864

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Reflections upon a Red Cross Disaster Deployment http://springpointservices.com/blog/reflections-upon-a-red-cross-disaster-deployment/ http://springpointservices.com/blog/reflections-upon-a-red-cross-disaster-deployment/#respond Wed, 11 May 2016 21:49:58 +0000 http://springpointservices.com/blog/?p=13589

My recent deployment to Houston on behalf of the Red Cross was eye-opening: very sad for so many of the victims, a fair taste of how the Red Cross operates, a good use of my way of providing service and, overall, an affirmation of what’s inside human beings in a crisis.

What was slightly unexpected was how much life went on as usual in and around a true disaster. Some of the flood victims themselves commented on it. Every news show in the morning began with the weather report since even a small amount of rain was a source of dread. No place to put any more water. Still, the city was far from at a standstill, and the highways were jammed with commuters. In the neighborhoods though, people were putting their saturated furniture, rugs, and belongings out on the curb, and running fans with every window open despite the heat, hoping to minimize the mold.

Many well-off people were flooded out for the second or even third time within a year, but there’s no escaping that the poor and working poor were disproportionately affected.

They didn’t have as many friends and close relatives able to swoop in and put them up for the night and feed them. The obvious displacement and disruption of family life was compounded all too often by the loss of flooded vehicles which provided transportation to work or were central to that work: hauling, carrying tools, being crucial to an ongoing small business. These folks ended up spending the night on cots on a stadium floor with their children, along with hundreds of others.

Even though so many had very little and then lost everything, most people were calm, patient, cooperative, and appreciative. Very few people became unreasonable. A few were in shock or distraught. That’s where I and my mental health colleagues came in.

Frankly, it didn’t take much to help people feel and manage their emotions in a way that got them back to functioning, taking care of those who needed them, and beginning to think about what’s next from here. I was very impressed with my fellow human beings. They rose to the occasion, gave and received help, and conducted themselves with pride and grace in circumstances that could challenge anyone’s equanimity and dignity.

Shaun Kieran

ShaunKpro@gmail.com

 (207) 767-3864

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